One Year

That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen you. One year of not hearing your voice, talking to you, or sitting by your side. One year of not getting a text or phone call from you; not hearing you call me “Sweet Sweet”. It’s hard to believe that 365 days have gone by that you haven’t been a part of. As a kid I assumed that I wouldn’t have to live without you, but age and disease prove that tomorrow isn’t a guarantee, that life is short and precious. Grief is a bizarre and vast ocean with days that feel like a hurricane, emotions and tears never ceasing, while others are calm and still where I feel like I could float on the tranquil surface forever. Time is also strange and continues marching on without you, somehow. Most days it feels like it’s still January 27th, 2020 and you just left, and other days it feels like you’ve been gone for years. Even though I’ll never stop wishing we had more time together, I do know that God’s timing is perfect; He knew what was coming. A global pandemic that could have taken even more of a toll on your body than you had already endured. In all honesty, I’m so grateful you didn’t have to weather yet another storm that would have been so painful to sit by and watch you suffer through. Instead, you exhaled your last breath and entered into Heaven in one fluid moment. I’m grateful that you visit me in my dreams every so often, reminding me that you’re not too far away, always with me and guiding me. One year later I still know this to be true: you are in the arms of Jesus, fully healed, fully alive, fully whole, and finally free from cancer’s grip. I take comfort knowing where you are, hanging out with family and friends who have gone before. I’ll keep missing you, but I have peace knowing that I’ll be joining you someday soon. Until then, I carry you with me in my heart every single day. I love you always and forever, Daddy. 💙