Missing A Loved One During The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Happy first day of winter! ❄️ It’s a brisk 69 degrees here in Phoenix, so I decided to break out my coat, fur boots, and beanie for the occasion 😂 It may not get super cold here in the desert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to partake in the festivities! Speaking of which, I can’t believe Christmas is just a few days away! Every year it seems to creep up more quickly than before, and this year I feel like it’s caught me off guard with the flurry of emotions I have surrounding the holiday. Ever since my Dad passed away in January 2020, the holidays just aren’t the same without him, and Christmas is by far the hardest. I’ve been so busy at work lately that it’s consumed most of my thoughts, and now that things are winding down this week, the grief that’s always present is becoming more prominent. It’s honestly just really hard to be happy during the holidays when deep down you miss someone so much and wish they were still here to be a part of it all. I feel like Kacey Musgrave’s song “Christmas Always Makes Me Cry” sums up my feelings pretty perfectly - if you’re in the same boat as me this holiday season it’s worth a listen!
What has gotten me through my grief these last (almost) two years since losing my Dad is knowing that he’s in Heaven, no longer in any pain or suffering. It’s the greatest comfort and I feel that comfort so much during the Christmas season as we celebrate the birth of Jesus - the greatest Gift of all. It’s because of Him that we have the hope of eternity beyond this life and I find myself thinking about Heaven so much more now. Knowing that I’ll be reunited with my Dad someday brings me so much joy, especially on the days when it’s really hard, but despite knowing all of this I still miss him so much and the little moments we shared. Like watching his favorite Christmas movies on the couch (It’s A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story were at the top of his list!), or seeing his face light up when he took a bite of Freddy’s chocolate silk pie, or driving through the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights. Even though he isn’t physically here with us, I feel his spirit when we spend time together as a family and I love keeping his memory alive through our favorite traditions.
If you’re also missing a loved one this time of year, please know you are not alone! I’ve heard some people say that grief is all of the unexpressed love we have for those that aren’t here with us anymore, and I think that’s so beautiful ❤️ I don’t think grief goes away with time - it will always stay with us and we’ll continue to go through life growing around our grief. My hope is to honor my Dad’s life and legacy by keeping our traditions alive and reminiscing on all of our fond memories together. If I can pray for you in any way I would love to! Feel free to DM me on Instagram or send me an email 😊 Sending you a virtual hug and lots of peace this Christmas!