2019 Reflections
“Here comes the jackpot question in advance, What are you doing New Year’s Eve?” I’ve had that Ella Fitzgerald song stuck in my head all day today, and with good reason :) I can’t believe it’s just about time to close out 2019 and ring in the New Year! Freddy and I have never been the type of people to go out and get dressed up on NYE. We prefer a quiet night at home, watching movies and drinking endless amounts of Martinelli’s cider!
Throughout this past week I’ve had some time to reflect on this past year, and there have definitely been some hard times. My dad’s health has been a rollercoaster with multiple hospital visits, which has made me feel so sad. Because I’m an only child, I’ve had a close relationship with my parents my whole life, and it’s hard not to dwell on the unfairness of it all. We should be going on family vacations together and going out to dinner, not worrying about when the next hospital visit could be because the cancer has taken a toll on his body. My heart also breaks for my mom who is now his full-time caregiver. She is exhausted and I wish I could make all of this go away. My dad started out the year doing pretty well, and then his stroke in June served as a pretty major setback. He was improving with physical therapy afterwards, but we just recently learned about another brain tumor that has appeared and he’ll need to have surgery (his 3rd since his brain cancer diagnosis in Jan 2017) to remove it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about his upcoming surgery in a couple of weeks, but I’ve been trying so hard to place my trust in God. My dad and his health are ultimately in God’s hands, which is the best place for him to be, and that has helped me have some peace about the situation. Despite the stressful and emotional times, there have also been many joyous moments this year! Freddy and I spent a winter weekend in Denver back in February and got to play in the snow, we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in September at Disneyland (my favorite place!) and we’ve been able to spend some great quality time with both of our families, which is what’s most important to me at the end of the day.
2020 seems to hold such weight, as it’s the beginning of a new decade and many people have so much they want to accomplish this year. I am one of those people, as I consider myself a dreamer and I’m always forward-thinking about what I want to do next. But I also must say I’m a bit nervous, as I don’t know what the future holds for my dad health-wise. All I can do is enjoy the time that I have with him and my mom, cherish each moment and focus on the happy times we all get to spend together. That’s really all any of us can do in this life—enjoy the time we are given. We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, so I feel it’s important celebrate the beautiful, and even the difficult, moments. I know it sounds cliché, but I’m feeling extra sentimental this holiday season :) To close out 2019, I thought it would be fun to share some of my most-read posts! My goal is to continue to be as transparent as possible in my blog posts in 2020, even through life’s difficult seasons, with the hope that we can all support and strengthen one another. I consider all of you friends, and I want you to know how thankful I am for each one of you! Your support means the world to me, and I love you all so much. Sending you lots of love and blessings in the New Year!! xoxo